Ping 3: Rigor Mortis
by Watermelonsmellinfellon
Summary: Our hero's take their shinnanigans SIX FEET UNDER!


**A/N: This idea was given to me by my beta, flamingpen18. It's all thanks to her.**

**I don't own Twilight. I'm just playing with the characters.**

**THIRD POV**

Bella and Emmett never heard the end of it from Edward. He proved that he was never letting them spend time together, by banning her from the house. From now on, she was to stay at home, and only he and Alice were allowed over to visit. Ridiculous**!**

No matter how much she tried to argue, he wouldn't have it. Why was he being such a jerk?

"Do you even want me to be part of your family?!" Bella shouted at him when they were alone.

Edward started at her sudden harsh tone. "Of course I do, Bella. I just don't want anything bad to happen to you," he said, trying to pull her close.

She tried to push him away. "No! With the way you act, it's like Emmett is more dangerous than Jasper. Even though he has a much easier time than Jasper. Plus, no-one in their right mind would mess with him, once they get a good look at his gargantuan size. Then the fact that he can lift a car with a finger and protect me from any potential harm that I seem to attract helps it all out. Though, all that doesn't seem to matter." Bella glared at him.

Edward sighed, "It isn't that, love. Emmett is just irresponsible."

Bella snorted, "You're going to have to deal with us hanging out. If I'm to be a part of your family someday through, ugh, _marriage, _then you' re going to have to get used to it. Until then, you aren't allowed in my house. I will not sit with you at lunch, and I'll be driving myself to school. Oh! If I want to spend time with Em, then I will."

Edward backed up and out the door. "Bella, don't do this. I-" Only to stop when the door cut him off._ She slammed the door in my face,_ he thought in shock.

**LATER**

Bella sat on her bed, thinking about how annoying Edward was being. _What a Dilweed._ She frowned. Why did he have to be such a prick?

Her cell phone buzzed. It was a text from Emmett. _**Hey, the town codger died yesterday.**_

Bella text-ed back._**So why should I care? That guy was a jerk.**_

_**Ha ha. Yeah. But the funeral is tomorrow, and there will be a good amount of people showing up for a free meal. **_

Bella's brows furrowed. _**So?**_

His answer had her laughing. _**So it's Ping Time!**_

_**At a funeral? That is horrible. I'm in.**_ Bella typed back.

_**Good. I'll pick you up at eleven tomorrow morning.**_ He replied. _**See you soon.**_

**THE NEXT MORNING**

"These people really only showed up for a free meal?" Bella asked Emmett.

He nodded, "Yeah, no one liked him, but with the promise of food, they all showed up."

Sitting in the back row of the church was nothing foreign to them. They were there two days earlier. Angela's father was gracious enough to hold the mass for the funeral and the gathering afterward.

No one was crying for the deceased. No one really cared. The old codger was the most hated person in Forks. It was no surprise that they didn't shed a tear for him.

When it came time to pay their respects, everyone lined up. Emmett pulled out a small bag of Super Snap fireworks. The little fireworks that explode when you throw them on the ground.

He gave her an evil grin, before reaching into the bag. His hand moved like lightening, and a loud snap sounded. Many of the people in line screamed. Then there was a barrage of snaps, and everyone ducked. "Ping."

"We're being shot at!" someone screamed.

"I'm gonna die!"

"That damn asshole is trying to kill us, even in death!" another yelled.

Bella and Emmett snickered. What annoying people.

The snaps stopped, and everyone stood up slowly, only to crouch again when the snaps started up again.

"Let's get out of here!" someone shouted.

The people ran for the doors and out into the parking lot. Emmett dragged Bella outside and flashed them to her truck across the street. Engines revved and the frantic people tried to drive away. More snaps sounded, and they all stopped and got out of their cars, laying on the ground and covering their heads. "Ping."

The silence was eerie, and Bella and Emmett sat in the truck howling with laughter. "An attack of the dead!" Bella cried in mirth.

"Oh, it isn't over yet." Emmett pointed over to the steeple. "I stashed a music player up there, which has my voice recorded on it. It alternates between growling and ghostly noises."

He pulled out his phone. "Should be starting...NOW!"

Sure enough, loud growling echoed out from the steeple, and the screams continued.

"Let's go. I can pick up my stuff later," Emmett smiled, driving off.

"That has to be the best ping ever!" Bella laughed.

When they got back to Bella's house, Bella grabbed the bag from Emmett. "I'm gonna do something with these."

Emmett smiled and nodded. "Have fun!"

Bella went inside and laid the bag on the floor. Then the doorbell rang.

"Bella? Bella I know you're home. Let me in." It was Edward.

_Perfect._ Bella smiled. She gasped, "No, Edward, please.. go... away!" she called, with fake worry lacing her tone. _Fall for it. Fall for it!_

"Bella?!" he asked in confusion. "What's wrong? What happened?"

Bella ignored him and stomped on the snaps. Bullet like sounds erupted, and she collapsed with a fake scream, laying face down.

"Bella!" Edward was in the house and at her side in seconds. "Bella?! Bella?!"

He rolled her over, only to see her smiling. "Ping."


End file.
